


Tube Tucked and Tongue Tied

by Cockzilla



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Stuttering, Tight Spaces
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-05-19 06:49:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5957704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cockzilla/pseuds/Cockzilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John & Dave get stuck in one of the wind pipes on John's Planet and it leads to an embarrassing situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tube Tucked and Tongue Tied

**Author's Note:**

> The first of a few fics I wrote anon back in the day for the homestuck kink meme on lj. All fics were written as relevant events and characters were still being introduced, so a lot of it is super ooc, but I can't remember enough of the comic to correct any of it.

“I don’t think anything you left behind, especially if you can’t remember what it was, is worth THIS.”  
Dave’s angry whisper was hot on the side of his face, but John Egbert resisted flinching back against the metal of the large pipe they were hiding in.  
“I saw it in a dream-cloud, but, you know. Those things aren’t exactly hi-def screens.”  
John was lying through his protruding teeth at this point. All he really wanted to do was show off how much the salamanders loved him and respected him, so he had taken Dave back with him for some made up object while they waited for Jade to catch up. John wished now that he was better at quelling that constant urge to impress the other SBURB player in the tube with him.  
“Go check outside and see if the coast is clear. Even of stupid imps. Since Egbaby says we can’t fucking kill anything…”  
John was glad that, when climbing up the other boy’s torso, Dave’s nose got caught on his suit, as it cut off his heckling. He had seen when they’d landed that the various shale beasts and the salamanders were warily trying to coexist. Throwing himself into that mix would undo any diplomacy that had gone on before, so for the last hour he’d been frantically searching for an object he could claim was the one he forgot, and hiding with Dave from monsters.  
John had spotted something of imp height behind a large mushroom scrambled about on his perch to get a better look, but had been startled by a gasp from below. He let the top to the pipe fall back unaligned as he hastily dismounted his human ladder. He could see from the sliver of light that Dave was facing away from him, stiller-shades askew and expression distraught.  
“Oh man I’m so sorry. Did I elbow you or something? I can be sort of clumsy.”  
Dave didn’t immediately respond, instead shifting his torso so there’s more space between it and John’s.  
“I just. There was a lot of friction involved in getting you up there, so I’ll need a moment to get rid of my… b-b-”  
Dave ended his statement with a huff, finally looking at John to see the low light glinting off the buck teeth John was exposing in the most shit-eating grin Dave had ever seen.  
“Oh my god!”  
“HEY! It’s a part of being young, my bro assured me it happens all the time. My b- it will be gone in a minute!”  
John understood all right, since the overall situation had given him a matching stiffy, but that wasn’t what he was holding in his laughter over. His inner comedian had latched onto one little detail, and it couldn’t let go.  
“You can’t say it!”  
“What?!”  
“You are so rowdy with what you type I can’t believe this!”  
“What are you even talking about, John?!”  
“Say it! Say it or I’ll tell Rose and Jade all about this. Say the b-word.”  
John wasn’t really keeping track of where he had been poking on Dave’s chest to taunt him, which was doing nothing for Dave’s condition.  
“I can say it! Bitchtits.”  
John casually brushed his hand over the tent in Dave’s dress pants.  
“You know that’s not the word I was talking about.”  
“This is stupid!”  
“Say it and I’ll never bring this whole incident up again.”  
Dave had to turn away again, not being able to take the laughter that would inevitably come when he struggled through the stupid word.  
“B-b-buh-b-b-b-boh-b-bone-b…boner!”  
Dave opened his mouth to defend himself, but all that came out was a strangled moan as John pressed his own hips up against Dave’s and began to rock the two b-words against each other.  
When John stopped moving was when Dave’s brain almost shut down form confusion.  
“I heard ten, so I moved ten times. But everything sounds different in these pipes.”  
“…huh?”  
“You stuttered ten times before you actually said it. But I could have counted wrong. How many failed attempts?”  
“I… a lot! I tripped over that word more times than I’ve fallen down stairs!”  
John’s smug grin would have to smacked away later, right now was not the time.  
“Well, you’re better with counting syllables, so you just say when.”

Dave began to warm up to the nasal quality in John’s voice once he heard enough hushed moans, and he was almost inspired to think up a song based on it and the rhythmic sound of plush pants against the more formal fabric of John’s. But he couldn’t really think so coherently right now, and that rhythm was quickly becoming more erratic. One idea that did filter through was how to erase that smug grin he could now feel pressed into his neck.  
Dave yanked a few times on John’s tie, pulling their faces awkwardly towards each other. At the rough treatment, John got equally as forceful below the belt. As Dave came he entirely missed John’s mouth and kissed his nose instead, almost knocking off John’s glasses in the process. When Dave opened his eyes again, there were those three teeth in his eyesight, taunting him worse than before. He reached up to guide John’s head a bit more deliberately, hand tangling into soft black hair. The strong kiss and the even stronger, body shaking orgasm were enough to dumbfound the prankster and wrench his mouth open in a scream.

Once both boys were fully back to their senses, they cast horrified glances up at the opening at the top of the pipe. This time Dave got a lift from John, who had to resist cracking wise about the damp spot he could feel through Dave’s pants as it stuck to his shoulder.  
“There’s no one out here John! Why didn’t you say anything”  
“No idea!”

**Author's Note:**

> I forgot! There was fanart made for this fic:  
> http://plus4chan.org/boards/coq/src/127935945555.png


End file.
